FB

Some of the things I come across and that people tell me often has me laughing out loud. Some of you may find the following words familiar, although I must stress that it's not about anyone in particular and certainly NOT ME!

Met her on Facebook
Met her on Facebook
Just one look was all it took
My mate said “Nah don’t do that stuff
Giving out info leaves me shook”
Told him “Pete
It’s safe and sound
You control what people see”
He said “Nah it’s alright
Don’t want no one seeing me”

Met her on Facebook
Met her on Facebook
Sent her a message
Entitled “Hi”
“Saw you’re a friend of Jimmy’s girl’s cousin
Looked familiar
But don’t know why
If we’ve never met before
Then I’m hoping you don’t mind
Caught a glimpse of your profile
Should have locked
Should have blocked it
Would you like to be a friend of mine?”

Waited one day
Got no answer
The next night
My inbox says two
Opened up one from my sis
Another for some Mistri do
So played scrabble
Sent some greetings
Sent some smiles and kisses too
Got bored
Went off to watch Heroes
That was the end
Of my day two

Met her on Facebook
Met her on Facebook
Came back from work
Switched the PC on
Grabbed a beer out of the fridge
It slipped out my hand
I spilt the lot
Some time later
Having settled
Showered eaten
Spoken to mum
Logged on to see just what was cooking
Inbox said that I had one
Opened up and there she was
Changed her profile picture too
She said “Hi how you doing
Don’t think that I have met you.
Yes your right I’m Cassie's friend
But who’s Jimmy what’s the deal
No worries I’m here for networking
I’ll be your friend
If that’s how you feel”

Met her on Facebook
Met her on Facebook
We then started nice and slow
After a week of idle banter
I cranked it up
In private though
Facebook’s fun but when your chirpsing
On the down low must be done
She knew people that I knew
This Facebook world
Is a small one

I even found out that she use to
Go to places I used to go
She weren’t single
But she weren’t married
'It’s complicated'
Her status said so

Read her profile
'I like dancing
R&B and soulful house
Reading
Gym
And quiet nights
Films that make me cry inside
My favourite books are Child Called It
Color Purple and I do
Absolutely positively
Love some Maya Angelou'

Met her on Facebook
Met her on Facebook
Changed her profile pic again
Not as nice as the one before
Not as nice as her best friend
So we haven’t talked that much
She did invite me to a rave
Could've gone
Would've gone
If her friend was there
I would’ve misbehaved

Met her on Facebook
Met her on Facebook
We don’t even chat no more
Hid her from my newsfeed now
The quickest way to shut her down
It was fun while it lasted
She changed her status
And that was it
In a relationship
Is what it says
So I just moved on instead

Then found out who she is tapping
Guy called Steve
Old Frankie’s mate
We use to drink down at the Nag’s Head
Me and him and Frank and Nate
So just as well
I wasn’t clever
And got to know her a little better
Still won’t let that deter me
Wonder if her friend is free