Sweet Woman of Mine

My heart was opened when I met her
I knew from the start
That I would not forget her
I began to believe in the Holy Spirit
When she touched me
Something rushed me
And chills not only ran up and down my spine
But sideways and any which way
They would not obey
And only wanted to play

Her speech pattern
Was too much
That I once saw
(And I swear it’s true)
Several people in the room
Turn their heads as the words
Floated from her lips
Soft and sweet like butterflies
Almost like an invisible treat
To the ears
In response to something that I said

She once told me that I
Had gone to her head
Like intoxicating wine
That made me feel fine
And in response I was forced
Without thinking
To reveal
All that I now feel

In the morning we may lie awake in bed
Grateful for the sunrise
And for each other
Making physical commitments to one another
Despite the urgency of the day
We ignore the tick tock of the clock
In order to caress and kiss
I love her lips
Whether it is sunrays or rain
That fall on the windowpane
We enjoy Mother Nature’s gift
Before she then let’s me love her hips
Allowing me to pull them close to mine
So that we can intertwine
Our lovemaking
Euphoric and sublime
But that is not the only reason
I call her sweet woman of mine

You see
Sometimes she makes love to me
With her mind
And like ropes
Her thoughts bind
And tie me up in a world of mental stimulation
Conversing with her can be such a sensation
Whilst on other occasions
Silence is golden
Days when she is an enigma
And I cannot decipher
She becomes my eighth wonder
She fascinates and at the same time
Elevates me to new heights
So much so that I become
Afraid to let go
Still she reassures
That I have no need to fear
And as such I feel no ill will towards my brothers
They envy me
For her physical beauty
Is a treat for the eyes
So I simply hold her hand
As we walk side by side
To show the world
That I am hers and she is mine
All mine

At last my thoughts of having one so true
Have become reality
That as I said before
I am able to believe
In the Almighty
For only he could have created one as lovely as she
She is not my treasure
What we have is the prize
She is instead my soul divine
And that is why
I call her sweet woman of mine

I Do

One of the young people that I work with once told me that the only reason that I did my job was for the money and that I must get ‘bare douh’ for keeping him out of prison. This was my response…

I do it so that you

Can go to school

And get an education for free

I do it so that you receive a choice

Of what you want to be

I do it so that you can live a life without

Prejudice and fear

I do it so that you feel no shame

In being here

I do it so that I can look you in the eye

I do it so that you have the ability to read and write

I do it

So that you can hold your head up high

So that you shed no more tears

So that you do not die

Before the age of 21

I do it so that you have no reason to cheat or lie

Or steal from your mother

Or slap down your sister

Or diss your brother

So that you realise the meaning of pride

And wear it upon your body like skin

A choca mocha locca coat

Of history and dignity and self love

So that you do not allow

Knowledge to slip through your fingers

But instead let it seep into your mind

So that you find value in the sun and rain

And learn from your mistakes

I do it so that you do not make my mistakes your own

So that occasionally you will step out

Of your comfort zone

And try something new

Instead of feeding the stereotypes of the many

Who would have you remain one of the few

I do for you so that you do for you

And only ask that you do too

I do it so that

You stay true to the dreams

Of those that went before

I do it so that those that died

Died not in vain

For you are their legacy

And should shine like the Nubian star

That glorified the way to freedom

For those stubborn slaves

I do it so that you see beyond

The bling and rap superstars

The bitches and hoes mentality

That so tightly grips your reality

And strangleholds our community

So that you believe in yourself

And not those that say

That the only way

Is to get rich or die in the process

I do it so that

You will do for your children

And they in turn will do for their children

What you have seen me do

I do for you so that you do for you

And only ask that you do too

For the right to vote

To earn a decent wage

To live in a decent home

Filled with warmth and love

I do it so that those that do not

Can be stopped in their tracks

As they attempt to attract

The negative in us all

So that the positive in your heart

Will steer you away from the opposing path

I do it for you and your brother too

Your father sister and mother

So that they are secure in the knowledge

That their brother and son

Is safe and of solid mind

I am no martyr

I am only a man

But I do because I have to do

I do because I can

What no one else would want to do

Or is able to

I do so that you will aspire to be

And just like me

Eventually find your own inner peace

I do for you so that you do for you

And only ask that you do too

I Would Like...

Occasionally we will meet someone and instantly know that they are special. This following piece tries to reflect that.


I would like you to understand me
And know how I feel each day
What makes me smile
Why I cry
The things that bring laughter my way

I would like you to know me
And spend time in my shoes
Walk to the places I walk to
See you as I see you

I would like you to know all my favourites
Colours and movies and songs
The things that I like about summer
How I feel when I get something wrong

I would like you to sense what I’m sensing
Without prompting or seeing the tears
So that you could in turn give me comfort
And help to ease all my fears

I would like you to understand me
What value I place on you too
So that you keep in mind you are precious
And I think you are wonderful

I would like you to know that I love you
It’s a lie but I wish it were true
So that all of these things I have asked for
In turn I could do for you.

The Power of Love

At least once in our lives we will be lucky enough to fall truly, madly and deeply in love. The rest of the time will have us flaffing about trying to make sense of whatever relationship we are in at the time. I've tried to reflect the confusion that love brings within this poem.


The first time that you tried love
It wasn’t the right love
Never knew love
Could burn so deep and hurt love
Now you’ve kissed love
Can you resist love
Do you miss love
And long on your lips…
Love

Isn’t it a waste
Once you taste
To not take the bait
And hesitate
Our faults dictate
That it has become too late for love
If we choose to analyse and decipher too much
Of what we are feeling
So that the feel of the feeling
Becomes less revealing
Then eventually
What we first perceived as love
Becomes nothing more than infatuation
A passing fancy
A want
A need
A kiss
So why resist
If what we seek is love
Then why deny love
Instead try love
So that we can fall in love
Give love
Receive love
Achieve love
Become love
“As one love”
For surely Mr. Marley cannot be wrong
Sing his song
“And you’ll feel alright”
In the morning light
As you wake beside love
Even if it was just a one night love
Embrace the ecstasy
Laugh at the insincerities
And most of all enjoy the journey
Of life and love

For they say that love
Comes from above
To be romantic
You could add
On the wings of turtle doves
They also say that love hurts
But that’s being dramatic
Even if love is never static
Isn’t that part of the pleasure
That it brings
Like change
It never stays the same
Takes you high then down again
Rollercoaster ride of emotions
And not even a magic potion
Can fill us with the true knowledge of love
For it is destiny
Written in the stars
That’s what I believe
From birth like a seed
As the gift of love
Is planted within our hearts
Waiting to be touched
By another who like no other
Makes that love grow

So before I go
Let me remind you so
That at some point in our lives
We are given love and take love
We taste love and waste love
We want love and need love
We look for love
And deceive love
We miss love
And diss love
Give in to love
Abstain from love
We return love
And yearn for love
We make love
And fake love
But most of all
We will forever grapple with the concept
At first sight or over time
What it is to you
Will be different in my mind
But no matter how I or you
Choose to define
We always underestimate
The power of…
Love

Darker Shade

Within the work that I do with young offenders, I often come across lost and confused black youths. This is the legacy that we, the 80s child, has left behind. In an effort to rebel against what was then, a very racist British society we lost sight of our goals, perhaps because we had little guidance (we were born with little sense of our own identity, black culture made to conform to white society).

The confusion that we felt was passed on to our children and in turn they now seem lost. (I'm generalizing, as the young people that I work with represent only a small minority of the ethnic youth, despite what the media may have us believe).

I have always been a fan of Ken Boothe's 'Is It Because I'm Black?' from the 'Let's Get It On' LP, but was unfamiliar with the original Sly Johnson version until about 15years ago when I happened upon a compilation LP whilst cratedigging in a shop in Camden.

Listening to it the other day, made me wonder, can we still use racism as a reason for the position that we as a people are in today? I have my own views on the subject but thought that I would pose the question by writing the following poem. It comes in two parts, the first addresses the adversities that we as a black nation have had to overcome and the second part looks at the legacy of being black in Britain (or indeed any western society). How much of our predicament have we created ourselves?

I have posted three versions of 'Is It Because I'm Black' in the Back In The Day music section below, including the two mentioned above and an interpretation from Sly Johnson's daughter Syleena. I have always admired Ms. Johnson and there could be no fitting tribute to her father than to cover this track. She stays true to the original whilst still making it sound fresh and when you listen you'll realise why she is known as Syleena 'The Voice' Johnson. It's a song that lyrically captured the mood of the time and was very relevant to me whilst growing up in East London. Is it still relevant today? Some would argue that like Marvin Gaye's 'What's Going On', it's just as relevant now as when it was written. What do you think?

Hope you enjoy the poem and of course please offer your opinion on the subject.
BA


The dark brown shades of my skin
Only add colour to my tears
Three white brothers on the corner
Only adds to our fears
Yet the only difference between us
Is our position on this Earth
Your destiny you see
Was decided even before your birth
To be born and raised
As a brown child
Determines our status
Fate was also sealed
By where God placed us
We didn’t choose our social position
We didn’t choose to be black
We didn’t choose to be slaves
But we chose to fight back

Through the message of the drum
Human railroads formed a path
To freedom so they thought
But then came the aftermath
Liberation wasn’t something
That we gained overnight
Buffalo soldiers
Tuskegee
We had to die we had to fight
Then came the 60s and civil rights
And we would not be here today
If not for those who paved the way
Still
Something’s holding me back
Is it because I’m black?
Perhaps

You see
Things have changed
We shared the winter in America
And Gil Scott Heron’s revolution may not have been televised
But we saw it with our own eyes
And had revolutions of our own
Brixton, Tottenham, Toxteth
Our oppressors heard our voices
And responded through screeching tyres
Of the Black Mariah’s
They gave us carnival
At first as a novelty
So they could see
The monkeys swing in the trees
Then as a way to keep us all in one place
So we couldn’t spread out
And disrupt their Bank Holiday

And all this time while we laughed at Love Thy Neighbour
The Real McCoy and danced the soul train
The education system stayed racist
Still watching Kunta Kinte eased the pain
Put fire in our veins
But then leaving school
No jobs could be found
That paid us a wage for which we
Could be proud

So we made our mistakes
Baby girls had baby girls
Boys joined the penal system
Our only true liberation
Was at the blues dance
Shocking out to the sound systems
With the words of Enoch Powell
Ringing in our ears
We faced the BNP head on
But never faced them with any fear
And so we earned our position
Pulled ourselves up from nothing
Paid our dues
Became something
Nurtured our children
Not to make mistakes like we
And so got them a babysitter
By the name of MTV

Looking back over my false dreams
Wondering why my dreams never came true
Not wanting the same for our kids
As we went through
Their life chances are better
The ghettos are few
Even though we know the system
Hasn’t changed that much
Affirmative action
Has kept the ball in touch
So now things should be for the better
But what’s going on
Too much skunk in their belly
Idleness is strong in this one
Obi Wan

Get rich or die trying
Is the moral of the youth
They live without faith and hope
And steer away from the truth
Shank him
All because he looked at me funny
Twelve year old youth
Gets stabbed in an alley
Still the future looks better
Barack is the new lick wood
Bringing hope to us all
At least we believe he should

But the cleanup must first
Come from within
The problem is now
So where do we begin
We were murdered and raped
And enslaved and for what
In the 21st century it should have all stopped
But we’re still not free
We’re still not free
Will we ever be free
Only if you
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
None but ourselves can free our minds
The problem is we don’t know
Who holds the key
And complain we don’t have the time

Education unemployment and incarceration
Are still prevalent throughout
All dark skinned nations
Teenage pregnancy homelessness
Will it ever end
If you’re a non white
Not for you my friend
So we sit and debate
The state of our people
And suggest through conversing
How to deal with it all
But before we consider
Who’s to blame
And ways to clean up our act
Ask yourself this question
And see what comes back

If something is holding me back
Is it because I’m black?
Perhaps